Artist - Stage Mom to Paintings

Today, I saw a comment from someone that got me to thinking about what really is the difference between the hobbyist and the professional aritst. I am not sure it really has anything to do with any natural talent, outside accomplishments or anything like that that is so easy to measure. I think it is something inside us.

I have an uncle that can draw anything that he sees. I understand that once upon a time he worked as a billboard painter, but most of his life was a factory job. I don’t think he even spent much time working on his drawing as a sideline either. He has more talent in his little finger than I have in my whole body, but none of the NEED to do something with it.

The comment was along the lines that they really didn’t have any other way of selling their art except on ebay because they lived in a rural area and there wasn’t a market for it, although a gallery was interested, it was easier to just list it on ebay, and while there were a lot of festivals in the area, weekends were family time.

For me the drive to have people actually SEE my work is as strong as my drive to create my work. And I think that might be the real difference between profession and hobby.

Yes, weekends are great family time. The whole family can get involved in working at the shows with me. And there is usually something fun for the kids that Katie can enjoy. And if the show really would be just too hard to do with the kids, they need the occassional weekend with their grandparents as well. Then there are the shows, that all I have to do is drop the work off. I am working on finding more and more of those type of places.

Hanging work in a gallery? Honestly a whole lot less work to me than writting up listings on eBay and then packaging up stuff to send it off. So what if I have to make a 45min drive every month or so to check on things and bring in new work. It is easy. People are going to SEE MY painting, for the effort of a drive and sticking a nail in the wall.

eBay just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. When I first started selling my work on ebay, several years ago, a few hundred people would see each listing, each work of art. Now, I would be lucky to get 50 people to look at it. Art Festivals? Now there are hundreds of folks looking at my work over the course of a weekend. Or in a Gallery? My own website?

I think that creating is a natural human need. I think what makes us professional creators different is that we have to share our creations with EVERYBODY. Sort of like stage moms. Sort of a “See what I made! Isn’t it wonderful?” Yes I see my paintings as a part of myself. Selling them is like sending my own children off into the world. And if they are my kids, I am their stage mom.

I have tried to keep an art journal. But honestly, it is too personal for me. Not as in putting too personal stuff down, I do that all the time with everything that I create. But it is a formate that is not DESIGNED to be easily shared with the world at large, so lacks some of the sparkle for me. Can I do my art journal on a series of canvases? Or maybe some artist trading cards so that if a chance to show them comes up I can just take them out of the book to mat and frame them? OH, wait, I already do!

Selling the work is just to pay the bills. The real drive is in creating and showing the work. Granted when someone buys a painting, a drawing, a print or even a t-shirt off cafepress it is the ultimate in saying “I like what you did”, so keeps me motivated too.

So I create to keep myself sane. I show, because of some twisted egotistical need that might be tied in with the insanity I am trying to keep at bay with the art. I sell to pay the bills.

Lupus

I haved a very limited knowledge of Lupus. Despite growing up with a cousin who was diagnoised with this chronic illness, I never knew much about it. Tammy’s legs would flare up, she had to have medication and had to keep out of the sun more than the rest of us. And we couldn’t defend ourselves against her, even is she started a fight because she was “sick”. Not that I ever noticed anything sick about her, other than the splotches on her legs. She didn’t even have the butterfly rash on the face.
In highschool I was randomly assigned a reasearch paper on Lupus. The teacher assigned the papers on things she figured we would know little or nothing about. I went home and told grandma what my paper was on and that weekend had stacks and stacks of research material handed to me by her and my aunt. That was the first time I had a name for the illness my cousin had been diagnoised with since she was 8 years old. I did my paper, and 20 years later can honestly say that I retained little of the information. I think I made a good grade on it though.
Tammy always seemed to live a perfectly normal life, so her Lupus was never something that factored into things. She grew up, became a medical assitant, married had two lovely little girls. One who shows a great deal of talent for drawing.

But a couple of years ago I noticed something weird with my own body. I had these weird splothes on my feet. It was little dots of blood coming up through the pores and darker splotches left uder the skin after that tiny dot of blood had been wiped away. The day I noticed them I was at a freind’s house who was a neurologist. He looked at them and said he had no idea what it was, and did suggest I get it looked at. But it went away after a couple of weeks and I didn’t think anything of it.

Off and on over the last few years I have had arthritic type pain in my fingers and toes, loss of feeling in the tips of my fingers and toes and of course the ongoing headaches I have been having since I was 6. Still I just took that as a sign of being too heavy and getting older, and just something I have always delt with.

Then while at an art show a couple weeks ago those splotches came back. A little larger this time. And this time they went all the way up to my knees. This time, I knew where I had seen then before. My legs looks just like Tammy’s legs.

It all could still be that I am just so over weight that it is causing a strain on my body. But because of the family history, the doctor is running some tests that include looking into Lupus. I have done a bit more research on it. Not too much. Still not too worried. I need to loose weight either way. And Lupus doesn’t scare me because I haven’t seen how it has changed Tammy’s life. Her lifestyle isn’t that different than mine, except that she is a better housekeeper than me and works as a medical assitant instead of an artist. Otherwise both typical suburban families with 2 kids living perfectly average lives.

But no matter what happens with those blood tests, something has changed in me. I want to know more about Lupus. And not just because it is some high school research assignment. I want to know more than they know now. I want to do something to help.

I did a drawing, that I think will become a painting. I wonder if there is some way I can use my art to raise a little bit of money to help with Lupus Research or bring attention to Lupus.

It feels weird

It feels weird not being able to show off my latest drawings. I miss my computer, more for it’s ability to be used to scan my art than anything else. The computer a friend loaned me doesn’t have a USB port that fuctions so I can hook it up to my scanner. Hopefully my new computer will arrive soon.

Life Happens

It has been a crazy few weeks. Seems like everything is just piling up on us. First the tree grew through the water line. Then the computer crashed. Then the cat got sick. Then the cat died. Then I got sick, thought I was being a baby about allergies. Cracked a rib from coughing. Discovered today that I actually had bronchitis (sp?) that is now phemonia (sp?). Oh and a I have also developed a slew of other ailments that has me scheduled to be tested for arthritis and lupus once I get this stupid breathing issue taken care of. Katie has some rash related to allergies. Dr. thinks some of it looks like poison ivy, but not all of it…..Oh and James is leaving for China ridiculously early Saturday morning.

And I miss Munin. She was ussually the one to cuddle up with me and sooth me with purring when I felt bad. Most Baby’s got to listen to music in the womb, Katie got Munin purrs.

And despite it all, I am not feeling too beaten down. Maybe all those Buddihist podcasts that James has me listen too have affected me. My opinion on all the issues of late is “this too will pass”. Granted I am looking forward to it passing so that I can get back to the regularly scheduled chaos.

A little snag

to the tune of $1500.00.

I convinced James that we really deserved a bit of ice cream tonight. But just as we were about to head out, we noticed a huge puddle of water by the sidewalk. We quickly figured out that we had a water line leak. And considering that it made a pretty big puddle between 6:00 when James got home and 7:00 when we headed out for ice cream, we figured it was a pretty massive leak. James got hold of a plumber. Since the owner lives nearby, he came over and turned our water off and tomorrow they will be coming by to put in a new waterline. Seems the last owners planted a tree right over the water line.

Tonight I was supposed to start on a commission. I had already put down the undercoat of paint earlier today and I was just waiting on it to get dark to use my projector to transfer the image to canvas. Now I have to wait until I have water to clean my brushes to do anything more to the painting.

I also do not currently have a book to read.

Which means my 2 forms of escape from stress are denied me tonight.

Oh yeah and Katie came home early from school yesterday because of another fever and was home all day today too, which means I am extra stressed. I love my little girl, but she is rather demanding of peoples’ time and attention.

I hate my macbook

James bought me this thing just a few days ago.
I hate it with a passion.

In my attempt to find a basic graphics program that would so the limited editing I need to do with my images, I have managed to lock the thing up several times a day and crash the programs daily. These programs being ones recommended by apple itself.

What I could do with a simple right click with my old computer is now a multihanded project in key combination.

I want to take it back. I have tried to keep quiet about my issues, because James is so sensitive about these things. I finally lost it and let him know what is going on with this stupid machine. I think I hurt his feelings. But I hate it. I Would prefer my dying pc than this horrible contraption.

I have tried, I really really have. But it has brought me to tears a few times and I just don’t LIKE being on the computer anymore, and it used to be my main contact with the outside world. Now this evil white monster is making my life miserable. I would throw it, but the damn thing costs too much money. I wonder if I can get my money back on it.

Rewiring my brain and Con stuff

My poor computer finally bit the dust. So today I went shopping for a MacBook. It is okay, but it works differently enough that I am having to think more about what I am doing. I can’t just go through the motions. I also am not sure about how to find the scan button on this thing. I do hope that I don’t have to get more software before I can scan again.

And it is smaller than my Alienware laptop. So trying to relearn to type on it is a pain. I prefer a larger keyboard.

Probably in about a year this cute little white computer will feel like an old friend. But right now it just feels weird. And I can’t right click either. I think it is missing my right click that is driving me the most crazy.

And this morning I got up with an urge to go back and do some pen and ink drawings and went and bought some pens and bristol board. But while at the con, I lost half of my mechanical pencil, so I can’t finish the sketch that I was working on. And I am jonesing to ink it. It is one of my mandalas with a fairy cat. Very detailed.

And at the con we had a lot of fun. I got James one of the collaborative works with Brad Foster and Teddy Harvia. And I bought myself a small original of Brad’s. It is an aritst mouse. Chris bought himself a dragon by Theresa Mathers. And the panels were interesting.
My favorite was Bev Hale’s and K Hutson Prices’s readings. I was lucky enough to have gotten to read the story Hutson read, but I must say that the reading was much cooler. When she was done reading everyone was so quiet. She had taken us to another world that made you afraid to make a noise in. I don’t know how she does it with so few words. When I read the story, I felt my heart rate rise. When it was read it was all the more intense. I do hope she does some more stories in this world. Because with her short story she established such an amazing mythology and a complete world.
Bev’s stories were pretty cool too. The Bettys was creepy. I think our next visit to see James’s grandmother at the nursing home is going to have to be on a nice bright day.
I am going to have to start going to more of these readings. They were cool.

Google-Cafepress - Stumped

Maybe it is because I am suffering from the flu, but I am having some trouble wrapping my brain around this.
In the last 2 days my hits on Cafepress have tripled. Checking things out, it seems all those hits are coming from search engines - mostly google. I am trying to wrap my brain around WHY. cause if I can figure it out, maybe I can keep doing it.
I am not seeing any new key words that would cause this. Actually no single key word seems to have been used more than 6 times in the last month.

None of the new traffic seems to have come from any of the direct links that I have posted.

So confused.
I think I will take this flu damaged brain back to bed.
BTW turns out Katie’s weird fevers were the flu. she was vaccinated, but we have a nifty new flu going around. I got it. James and Chris are on preventatives. The doctor forgot to call mine in, but I caught the darn thing before I could call and get a prescription for me. This is only the second time in my life that I have had the flu. I don’t like it. But at least Katie is acting like she is perfectly healthy now…..

Happy Valentines Day

Honestly this has always been a weird holiday for me. Even as a kid I protested it in my own weird way. I would dress all in purple each V-day. I am sure my fellow classmates didn’t get the purple hearts reference, now that I look back on it, but it amused me at the time.

I think my favorite valentines outfit was in 7th grade. I wore this bulky purple sweater with tight jeans with big purple roses painted all over them (remember those pants from the 80’s?), and I had these sunglasses that were heart shaped with purple and white stripes on the big plastic frames. But that wasn’t the worst part about those sunglasses. Instead of formed ear pieces, they had chain with more big plastic striped hearts on the end that went over the ears and looked like you were wearing these giant earrings.

So here I sit on Valentine’s Day years later with a wonderful husband and 2 great kids that I love very much. I feel the corporate pressure to do something for them to celebrate the holiday. But in reality I want to do my own little protest, once again one that no one would probably get. I want to run away to a used book store and get some vampire or werewolf story and sit by myself in a coffee shop and read it.

Despite my personal feelings about the holiday, I have encouraged my 6 year old (soon to be 7 year old) to enjoy the holiday. When she requested that I do a drawing for the kids in her class to color for her valentine’s gift I of course gladly obliged her. She stood over me and dictated the design - a dog with short floppy ears carrying a heart with spiral spots. The background was a combination of dots and hearts. We made 23 photocopies of the thing rolled them scroll like and tied them with funky pink yarn. And to top it off, she carried them to school in a cute wicker basket. I also put finger curls in her hair last night, used a bit of the funky yarn to tie her hair back today. I even let her wear a dress and funky tights.

This whole hallmark holiday thing really has me feeling a bit torn…..

It is so nice when folks want your trash

This Saturday I am participating in the Lake Ray Hubbard Studio Tour. I figured that if anyone really wanted to visit my studio that I had better make a path to the front door. So today I trimmed the shrubbery that was taking over the walkway. When I was done and had a pile of excess branches, I just called James up at worked and asked who wanted the scraps. I have been able to pawn off 2/3 of the branches on his co-workers.

When we planted the thing, I had thought it would be nice to for our own family’s use. But the darn rosemary grows so fast that it is taking over and I think I could provide the entire neighborhood with enough rosemary for all their cooking needs.

Anyone have any recipe ideas for rosemary? I still have lots left over.